My husband and I have a very playful and sometimes downright kinky sex life. I think it’s healthy. It keeps things spicy after 20 some odd years. We’re a little into role play and, more specifically, role reversal. Occasionally I will put on my Spare Parts Joque Harness and we have a little fun.
As a rock climbing enthusiast, I know a good harness when I see one and the Spare Parts Joque Harness is top of the line. It’s non-slip, it moves with your body, all of the interchangeable pieces lock in tightly, it’s fully adjustable, and the buckles hold tight but are easy to release. It’s also comfortable and completely durable . If Spare Parts made rock climbing harnesses, I would buy from them.
Normally, we keep all of our sex toys in a big duffle bag in the top of our closet. Friday night we brought the bag down to have a little fun, and believe me, fun was definitely had. We stayed up until the wee hours of the morning and woke up late for our family’s scheduled rock climbing excursion we had planned for Saturday morning.
While trying to get everything packed up and ready to go I asked my oldest son if he would grab the rock climbing equipment from our room. I told him everything was in a big duffle bag by the door. He grabbed the big duffle bag by the bed.
It was a pleasant enough drive over. We have three teenagers, 17, 15, and 13 so we try really hard to have family time, mostly as a desperate attempt to keep them in school and off crack. It’s what Dr. Phil suggests we do anyways.
We got to the mountain around 10am and everyone was ready to gear up and go up. My middle child opened the bag and reached in to grab a harness. What he grabbed was my Spare Parts Joque Harness… complete with a 7” dong lock on.
He screamed and threw it like it was a venomous snake. My 13-year-old just stood there slack jawed and wide eyed, and my 17-year-old exclaimed, “Oh for fuck sake, Ma!” My husband hastily made his way the dozen yards or so to where the Spare Parts Joque Harness lay, picked it up, brushed it off, put it back in the duffle and said, “Whelp, I guess no one’s rock climbing today. We’ll try again next weekend.”
While we didn’t climb a mountain that day, we did stop at a Best Buy and dropped about $400 on new video games and accessories. The kids have spent the last week staring at screens, mostly, I think, to avoid looking at us.
Despite this traumatic and expensive slip-up, I still wouldn’t trade my Spare Parts Joque Harness for anything. Now, we just make sure that all of the rock climbing harnesses stay in the hall closet far, far away from any Vac-U-Lock dong lock on pieces.
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